It isn't under one's control when the sun comes out, but come out it will. It might be dark and rainy for two weeks in a row. If it's dark and rainy, it really is dark and rainy, and you can't alter it. Here are some obvious things about the weather: “I’ve found that it’s of some help to think of one’s moods and feelings about the world as being similar to weather. This kind of advice feeds guilt and shame, inhibits grieving, encourages grandiosity and can drive you to be alone to shield your vulnerability.” When you most need validation and support to get through the worst pain of your life, to be confronted with the well-meaning, but quasi-religious fervor of these insidious half-truths can be deeply demoralizing. I was often kindly reminded (and believed it myself), “there are no victims.” How can you be a victim when you are responsible for your circumstances? The upshot of this perspective is that your suffering would vanish if only you adopted a more evolved perspective and stopped feeling aggrieved. You also chose how you interpret what happened-as if there are no interpersonal facts, only interpretations. Not only have you chosen the event, no matter how horrible, for your personal growth. In New Age crowds here on the West Coast, where your attitude is considered the sole determinant of the impact an event has on you, it gets even worse.In these New Thought circles, no matter what happens to you, it is assumed that you have created your own reality. We live in a culture that is blind to betrayal and intolerant of emotional pain.
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